Ruthie loves you

East London, the love of my life.

2010-04-06T05:44:00.000-07:00

After just over six months in London, I finally feel like it is my home. I have moved from flat to flat, from Columbia Road to Kirton Gardens and now finally, to Dalston Lane in Hackney. Its a really nice feeling to be returning to London tonight after a week in Dublin.
Iv never really felt at peace in this city, my one saving grace was the beautiful friends Iv made in Dublin over the years, friends that I miss everyday of my life but that are always in my heart. DBH, DGH and the community I became a part of through Dublin Hardcore will always be my fondest of memories, the greatest times of my youth.
Im 23 years old now and although my youth is nowhere near over, I cant deny that I am getting older. Im finally doing my dream job after years of attempting to get into the field, finally independant and supporting myself after years of trying to break free from under my families supportive wings and finally comfortable with my own company. I dont think its anything out of the ordinary to achieve these things, Im just finally beginning to grow up.
Life is good and Im excited to be in East London to experiance it.

one of the few reasons I love the internet.

2009-06-23T16:40:00.001-07:00

it lets me keep in touch with important people.

Im out of love and money

2009-05-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

Oh how I love you so

2009-05-07T16:34:00.001-07:00

Sunny London town.

One for the girls

2009-04-21T06:50:00.001-07:00

Im really into this nail varnish.
Its awesome and it actually does go on your entire nail in just one stroke! I didn't make any mistakes at all! RAD!
Also, that new maybelline satin finish foundation is SHIT. Dont waste your money.

yum yum in my tum

2009-04-19T12:37:00.000-07:00

I could seriously eat these all day long for everyday of my life:

OM NOM NOM

1.24

2009-04-08T16:51:00.001-07:00

"All I wanted was to say goodnight,
so that you'd know by the tone of my voice,
just how much I'd be dreaming of you as I slept."

This has been quite a long week and its only wednesday.
Im looking forward to spending the weekend with my family and Im also looking forward to setting up my vintage stall at the car booty in the shaw on saturday.
Im also looking forward to clearing my debts, which have been sneakily creeping up on me.
I was asked to do an interview for the indo on my stall and stuff and vintage and all things lovely. thats kinda exciting. Im not really sure of what it will entail. the dude is calling me tomoro to have the chats.

The outbreak show ruled. well done to all involved for everything, I had a blast even though I was really feeling sick and fluey.

Anyways, its nearly one thirty and I have to be up for work in a few hours so Ima go to bed.
Goodnight :)

Sun in your eyes

2009-03-18T16:35:00.000-07:00

I hope it lasts the weekend.

Hmmmmm

2009-03-10T17:27:00.000-07:00

My increasingly negative and obscure blog posts have been worrying some of you.
Many thanks for the 'are you ok?' phone calls and texts.
I am ok. Iv just heard and seen alot of things over the past few weeks that have fucked me off/brought me down and made me realise that I definately do NOT want to live in Dublin for much longer.
I am however, extremely grateful for my wonderful friends whom I would be utterly lost without.
Fuck the world, but thank fuck for friendship.

little girl

2009-03-09T16:12:00.001-07:00

stays out all night and smokes hundreds of cigarettes.

This City

2009-03-08T07:33:00.000-07:00

birth.

2009-03-04T13:51:00.000-08:00

Its taken me twenty two years to realise that I was born in a month thats full of sadness.

This summer

2009-03-03T11:13:00.000-08:00

is going to fucking rule. Im so excited. Iv already booked my holiday to Vancouver and New York and Im hoping to book various trips around Europe too. I can't wait to spend as much time travelling as I can this year. It will rule. HARD.

Im also looking forward to hangouts. This weekend had some of the sweetest hangouts Iv had in ages. I mostly thank Olivia, Laura and Lally for that, although there were alot more people involved :)
Thanks guys. Cheered me up no end :)

Im also trying to force myself to look on the bright side of life at the minute even though I fucking hate everything. But Im trying and its only every now and again where I think 'fuck the world'. Its annoying being posi all the time though. I dont know how people do it.
Iv spent alot of my life trying to hide my bad moods and negative feelings. I recon life is waaaay too short for that crap, but its also waaaay too short to be a moany depressing cunt too. So a nice balance between the two is what Im gonna aim for haha.

Its just becomming increasingly difficult to stay in anyway sane in this city. So many spas thinking that they're better then everyone else. It really grinds my gears.
Im not saying Im a saint, Im FAR from it but at least I can apologise and make amends if I fuck up or something.
I may be silly sometimes, but Im definately not too proud to give an apology when its due.

My new job is going very well. A little monotonous if anything buts its fine for the most part. I enjoy looking after my little department and Im already working on my top level book.
(This is a book you have to complete over a few months that basically qualifies you to become a top level manager. Which means more $$$)

What I really want to work towards is becomming a style advisor. Man I'd fucking rule at that job. Shopping all day for other people and getting lots of free clothes? AWESOME.

Im currently drinking the worlds worst cup of coffee. Fuck you maxwell house.

Fuck the world.

2009-03-02T14:40:00.001-08:00

I hate geography.

Red lipstick

2009-02-16T16:49:00.000-08:00

First week

2009-02-13T15:07:00.000-08:00

So as you all know, I finally started my new job in Topshop, Stephens Green on Monday.
I'v been making lots of new friends and Iv already managed to suss out most of the idiots from the crowd. Most of the people on my floor are lovely. I really like some of them and they'v been so nice to me which really made things alot easier for me.
And Im getting to know people from other floors too and its been alot of fun :)

The job itself is pretty easy, a monkey could to it to be honest. Clearing rails, tidying clothes, fitting room duties blah blah. But I'm also going to be till trained this week and I'v also been made Lingerie specialist, so Iv been kept busy getting to know everything I possibly can about bras and knickers. The absolute HACK of the chung waaaaans coming in to get sexy undies for der fellits for Valentines Day waas hilarious. I LOLLED....ALOT.

Also, within the next four to five months I'l be ready to become a 'Top Level'which is basically a manager. Which is class seen as they employed me as an 'advanced level', whatever the fuck that means.

So basically Im enjoying it alot so far and Im feeling quite positive about it in general.
Also, its nice working in a shop thats so busy, it's nothing like BT's where I'd be bored off my tits day in, day out.
So yeah, Im in all next week Monday through Saturday....so call in for a visit! I'l be on the first floor :D

Also if anyones around town tomoro I'd really appreciate it if you'd pop by my stall at the Bernard Shaw Car Boot Sale and buy a tshirt :)
Starts at oneish I think :)
Xox

JUST THE BUSINESS

2009-02-07T07:43:00.000-08:00

Cup of really good strong coffee and a packet of ginger nut biscuits :)

I told my mam to come into me in five minutes and to take the packet off me, otherwise I'l eat them all. I think she's coming now.
I have like, five biscuits in my mouth as I type this.
Yep, she took them.
Ah tits, my coffee just burned my mouth :(

FUCK YOU

2009-02-05T16:32:00.000-08:00

I HAD JUST WRITTEN THIS REALLY LONG BLOG ABOUT HOW SOMEONE HAD MANAGED TO GET ME OUT OF MY BAD MOOD AND THEN IT ALL DISAPPEARED.

FUCK YOU BLOGSPOT.

I'm grumpy again.

Baking and cooking

2009-01-30T08:01:00.000-08:00

Since I have been out of work for the past few weeks, Iv really taken to baking yummy treats and cooking yummy dinners and snacks.
So far I have made Gluten free dense chocolate fudge cake, Vegan chocolate brownie cake, Flapjacks, cupcakes and Vegan cupcakes, Oatiedoughy cookies and lots more.

Iv also become the pasta master. Literally any pasta dish thats vegetarian, I can make it.
I can also make homemade crisps with yummy flavours like paprika and salt and vinegar.
I made delicious vanilla pancakes with strawberry jam for breakfast this morning.
And I make the best Risotto imaginable.

Needless to say, Iv put on fuck loads of weight.
Someone come to my house and I'l cook for you.
Xox

First trip on 2009

2009-01-26T04:17:00.000-08:00

My first trip of 09 brought me to Sunny London town. Where I got to hang out with some very awesome people and see the sights.
I ate some of the raddest food ever and I adore Pogo Cafe milkshakes :)
I had the best time ever, thanks to everyone who I hung out with and of course thanks to Simon for putting me up.

This year my goal is to travel as much as I can.
Im not very well travelled as it stands and I really want to change all that.
I want to go to America and Canada and I also want to visit some European cities such as Berlin, Prague, Bern, Budapest and Warsaw.
Heres to hoping that Ryanair hook me up with sweet cheap deals :P

YAY!

2009-01-20T09:53:00.000-08:00

I GOT A JOB!!!!!

DELIGHTED!!!!

.

2009-01-19T14:59:00.000-08:00

I have been bored for the past month.
I dont really feel myself.
I really need to be challenged and active.
Not having a job makes me feel like such a loser.
I'v read all my books,
Iv gone to the museums,
I'v walked for miles,
I'v spent days cooking meals,
watching TV, DVD's and youtube.
I'v done everything that you possibly can for free.
Someone, give me a job before I go crazy.

Friday night

2009-01-19T14:50:00.000-08:00

A rainbow of hair colours.

Obsession

2009-01-13T16:58:00.000-08:00

For as long as I can remember Iv always been obsessed with something. Sometimes my obsession would last a week/month/year/lifetime.
Its never anything important. Just stupid stuff. Like Capri Suns.
I remember I was absolutely obsessed with capri suns. I couldn't get enough of them. Orange, Tropical, mixed berries, apple. I loved them all and would drink them non stop. People bought me multipacks of capri sun for my 19th birthday, it was that bad.
I even remember winning one for some silly award at the EmoHardcore anniversary party in Ciaras house back in 2005. That was the stuff of GOLD.
I drank so many fucking capri suns that summer that I find it really hard to drink the stuff now unless its ICE chilled. But yeah. Ridiculous.

Another obsession that has followed me through my life has been my love for Dinosaurs.
Why Dinosaurs, you might ask?
Cause they're fucking AWESOME, thats why.
I really do love them. I love reading about them, looking at pictures of them, watching the land before time, Jurassic Park etc.
Anytime I go to the natural history museum in London, I get so excited that I nearly vomit in my mouth, and have upon occasion. hahaha
But yeah, my favourite is this fella:

He's called a Brontosaurus, also called Apatosaurus (means 'deceptive lizard') lived in the late Jurassic Period and were decendants from the Diplodocidae (basically other long necks). But yeah basically they wer just real friendly but still kick ass and vegetarian, just like me haha.
I still really want a dino tattoo. :D

Another Huge obsession of mine is with London.
From the very first time I went, I fell in love. I love everything about the place.
Last year I had major plans to move there and try and set up a life for myself over there. Opportunities arose for me in Ireland which meant I had to put my plans on the long finger. I'd still love to go and move there. Two friends of mine have recently made the move across the pond and are having the time of their lives. The fast paced london lifestyle is suiting them well.
I'm going over in eight days and I couldn't be more excited.
I <3 LDN.

Chanel has been another big one for the past couple of years.
Along with Moschino, Marc Jacobs, teeth, bones, food, emoticons, tea, coffee, Malboro Menthol, vintage clothing, Ebay, Multivitamin Juice, Kitties, Gold, Skirts and Dresses>Jeans and Pants, Teddies, Jersey, Kitchen stuff, Cardigans, Socks, Shoes>runners, Teapots, saying words like "RAD!!!" and "AWESOME!!!", bad jokes/bad sense of humour(I'm Sorry, okay?!), Quilts, waffles, Hands, Curls, Hot Water Bottles, Umbrellas...the list is endless.

But I have one obsession that will last a lifetime. And thats my love for all things live.
Music, dance, theatre.
I dont think theres anything better than a live performance.
It is my mecca and I love it. From the energy and atmosphere to the sense of community behind it. Whether you'r standing in the front row singing every word or standing in the back with your arms folded, soaking it all up or even sitting in the sittiest seat in the house half blocked by a fucking pillar (cause thats the only seat in the gaiety that you could afford) I recon the whole thing is magical.
Alot of shit can get in the way from enjoying a show, sometimes its macho shit, sometimes its meat heads taking their shirts off and sweating on you(municipal waste=eg), sometimes its sitting beside some asshole who just wont SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WATCH THE PLAY!!! Whatever it is, I say fuck what everyone else says or thinks or does, its all bollox anyway. So long as you can have a good time, just block that stuff out cause people are dicks anyway. Just enjoy yourself an be in the moment.

You might think upon reading this that I'm gettin abit over-sentimental about the whole thing, and so fucking what if I am. You're forgetting that Im a person who has a completely obsessive personality.
Awesome.

Someone fix me,

2009-01-04T10:20:00.000-08:00

My body aches all over.

Tomoro I'l be going on the search for a job. I'm hoping that I wont have to go back to working in a store thats packed full of assholes.
If I could get temping work, that'd be rad cuz the money isn't bad and at least I wont get stuck in the same place day in day out.

I really hope I get something soon. I havn't had a job since the 22nd December and already Im mind numbingly bored. (Thanks for the lend of all those books, Lisa)

Due to said boredom, I'v been spending abit of time on ebay. Doing abit of window shopping for when I can afford to buy things.

My list includes:

Delish Hello Kitty tablecloth

Smoke box

First edition copy of JD Salinger's "For Esme- with love and squalor"

This delish Little Red Ridinghood coat

YEAH.

Ramblings

2008-12-24T15:31:00.000-08:00

While I was on tour I took to writing again. I saw alot of things on my travels that inspired me. This is just something about a girl I knew once. Her name was Ana.

................................................................................

Splitting headache and she's cold to the bone.
Shoulders are weighed down with the weight of a thousand years.
Salty tears sting her chapped lips.
But she cannot stop, nor can she let you know how tired she is from walking miles in uncomfortable shoes.

Minutes feel like days and every day that passes she gets a year older.
She is a million years old and the lines of her face tell stories of the sea.
She is love with the idea of being in love.
A feeling more fantastical than has ever been known.

She wants it all and she wants it now.
And sometimes she gets the fleeting feeling of infinity,
It courses through her veins faster then a bullet train.
But its there, it's always been there.

She walks down streets and passes the faces of people she knows but cannot recognise.
It makes no sense.
Headache grows with her confusion.
The pace of her daily routine is neither stationary, fast or slow.
But a combination of all three.

Black cats, lucky 13, horse shoes.
Fortune, favour and love.

It makes no sense how a relationship like this can be such a false friend.

if there's a god in the sky

2008-12-24T03:56:00.000-08:00

only he can judge me, so until my dying day stay the fuck out of my face.

I love Cold World. This song in particular is pretty relevant to me right now.

Have Heart

2008-12-23T02:44:00.000-08:00

I hadn't been as excited in a long time about seeing a band.
I spent over four hours getting back to Dublin in time for the show and it lived up to every expectation I had.

First up to play were Real Talk! I really enjoyed their set and I really feel its a shame that the boys are taking a break cuz the last couple of times Iv seen them play they've been really tight and I'v had a great time watching them. Also, I love Joebreaker.

Next were Find Away followed by Forging Friendships.
I was delighted to hear the good news that Forging Friendships will be releasing a record with Hurry up and B9. Its about time a band from our scene got recognised for their amazing talent and dedication to hardcore. It made me really proud. Well done boys.

And Lastly, Have Heart. Im rarely one to sing at shows but I was so excited about this show that I knew I'd end up losing my shit.
The show was incredible. Flynner was rad and pretty much all the songs I wanted to hear and that actually meant something to me personally were played and I was completely blown away.
Thanks amillion to everyone who made it happen. I had one of the best nights of my life.
Love you guys.
x

TOUR

2008-11-30T02:59:00.000-08:00

So I leave for my tour today. Im super excited and super nervous all at the same time. Hopefully everything will work out well and the show wont be a total disaster!!!
Fingers crossed :P
I'm back in dublin on thursday and then I'l be back friday evening just in time for the weekend shows.

Go to Ceremony tonight on my behalf seen as I have to miss it.
Gutted.

BYEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"£$%^&^

tired eyes

2008-11-21T15:15:00.000-08:00

All I want is to sleep so that tomoro will come quicker.

Kitties

2008-11-19T15:32:00.000-08:00

I WANT ONE SO FUCKING BAD!!!!
I want a ginger one so that I can call him marmalade. Olivia's friend from college rescued a blind kittie from the shelter and called the kittie Nuala or some shit. I would of called it 'super RAD cat' and his tagline would of been 'he maybe blind, but he's cute as fuck and super RAD'. For realzzzzz.

So rehearsals are finally gettin interesting. They're super draining too. Especially with all the singing and dancing and wanky shit I have to do.
I had a fitting for my costumes today, my cinderella costume is fucking ace.
I look like a proper princess!!!
And I also have to play Goldilocks breifly and one of the three little pigs and the big bad wolf. and needless to say...I look like a complete wanker dressed up as the last three.
How embarassing. I give you all permission to point and laugh uncontrollably and mock me til the day I die, thats how ridiculous I look in these fucking costumes.
BAH!

I just had a class carton of cranberry juice. It was super.

I wish I was back in london. I just bought a new coat on the cheap off ebay cause Im sick of being freeeeeezing.
The end.

In the words of Bill Cullen, "YOU, are fired".

2008-11-12T09:27:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I just got off the phone from my agent (how fucking fancy does that sound!??!!) and she was asking me how my play was going and all that kinda stuff. I told her it was great and that I'm really enjoying it. Then she told me that the producers and director were onto her and that they really liked me and that they were happy with my work and all that kinda rad stuff. I was chuffed.
Then she told me that two of the cast members are gonna be replaced by new people cuz they just "arn't working out", as it turns out, one of the people being recast and kicked outta the play is a guy that I went to college with. like, he's my friend.
what the fuck??!
So basically I have to go into rehearsals tomoro and pretend like I know nothing about how my friend is going to be fired!!
FUCKING MADNESS.
Seriously though, how ropey and sketchy is that? FUCK!!!!

Also in additions to yesterdays blog:
I wanna eat cherry pie at diners, go to rodeos in texas and drink coffee in central park.
-That one's for you, Holly :D
x

I really want

2008-11-11T09:28:00.000-08:00

to go travelling across the US.
Iv never been to America and ever since Olivia has come home from her trip, Iv really wanted to go.

I want to go to the Grand Canyon in Arizona and drink tequila in Mexico, I want to rollarblade down sunset strip, I want to rent a winnebago and have a party somewhere along route 66, I wanna do all sorts of rad stuff! And I also wanna go to wal mart, just for the laugh.

Also, flights on AerLingus are dirt cheap at the minute! like under €200 to New York!
Mental!

London in two days!!!!
SUPER EXCITEMENTZZZZZZZ!!!
Also, I love Elliott Smith.

Blogggggggggg

2008-11-09T14:04:00.000-08:00

Everyone's doing it these days and finally I have things interesting enough occuring in my life to make writing a blog actually worth while :P

Iv had the raddest weekend. I got to chill with friends and I also graduated from college.

Graduation was strange. It wasn't something that I was hughly looking forward to and the day itself was a huge anti climax. After three years of working my butt off, reading every book I could get my hands on and learning every script imaginable, staying in college every hour I could, extra rehearsals, masterclasses, all I got was a piece of paper. What a let down!!!

But after I was finished at the ceremony, I got to hang out with friends and the day wasn't a total waste :) And I had a really awesome time.

So as a few of you know I'm currently rehearsing for a play thats gonna be on during December.
Im super stoked on it. It's called 'A Fairytale Christmas'. This week we set into intensive rehearsals with putting choreography to the songs in the show and all that kind of jazz hand stuff.

Then come thursday I'm going to London for the weekend. IM SO FUCKING EXCITED :D!"£$%
Me and my lovely lisa are making the trip over and The one and only Holly Dale has offered us a place to crash. I cant wait!

Billie Jean is definately my favourite Micheal Jackson song and at the minute Im totally down with Jelly and icecream too.

I also cant stop listening to David Bowie and Bow wow wow. Sooooo goooood.

Also, Laterion Milton.......Hero!

'Its fun to do bad things'

:D

Yeah so Daraghs 21st was on Friday. It was the business. Man, I love Toga parties.
I had the raddest time. THANKS DARAGH!!!